Rise of the Machines!

First things first, I don't think I can post everyday, I mean if I were to post everyday then I might as well call this my freakin' diary. I am not gonna start any blog by saying "I was on my way to physio where I saw this super hot girl that I wanna bang!"

This is not some sort of competition where I wanna have 3000 posts and some of them say "Hi, this is post 2345, just wanted to say hi to all of you!"

When I post something it will hopefully mean something and be funny to those who read it. Now that I have bored you with this rant, time to get to the heart of the matter!

I am here to tell all you who do not have a Facebook account NOT to get one, and if you do have one put as little information about yourself as possible! In this day and age where people are trying to protect their identities, Facebook comes along and people are putting up their blood types and their addresses and shit! I mean why don't you just put a post on your Facebook page that says, "Message me for my SIN/Social Security Number and my credit card number!"

Another thing is, how addictive can Facebook possibly be where it is being banned by government offices in Toronto! I mean what the hell are these people doing all day long, looking up people that they banged or dreamt of banging in high school? I am pretty sure that these government "workers" can wait to get to home to talk to the guy that they haven't seen in 15 years about the time that they got high in the bathroom and drank out of the toilet cause they dared each other!

As a society we are finding more and more excuses NOT to meet each other in person! Whether it is MSN or whatever instant messaging service that you use, or Facebook, we are talking to people over computers that in some cases live a couple of blocks away! I understand the use of instant messaging to talk to people who live in another province/state/country, but if you live within 15 minutes of some and want to have a conversation with him or her, here is an idea, MEET UP WITH THEM! I know this idea seems radical but give it a shot I am sure you will enjoy it more than just sitting in front of a computer typing "lol" or "wtf" and hoping that the person on the other side senses your sarcasm over the computer!

I am somewhat of a hypocrite myself in that I do this often as well, but in most cases I talking to people while they are at work or who live a fair distance away from my place of residence. I try as much as I can to have in person conversations, but most of the time people are tired and just not up to it, which I understand.

All I ask is that people make the effort because after all, aren't we supposed to be controlling the machines and not the other way around?

He's Baaaaack!

After a long hiatus from the blog for retooling I have retooled and come back refreshed and re energized!

Some random thoughts that I have been wanting to say for quite some time:

1. This one is for all the ladies out there (and if you ladies are actually reading this blog, then all I can say is DAMN!). I honestly think that somehow all you ladies get together and ask each other "Is there a way we can all look exactly the same so that everyone thinks that we can't think for ourselves?"

During the winter it was jeans and those god offal Ugs boots and some sort of winter jacket that has some fake fur so that you all can look super cool! I think I saw a news story on Yahoo about the World Council of Ladies Who Look Super Cool that said there was a meeting in early March for the spring and summer fashion styles. It involved a new invention that Homer Simpson started off with called the Makeup Shotgun and it's continued use. There will be different calibers coming out in the near future such as the the 9 MM, the 22 Caliber and the 45 Caliber for those times when you are on the go and need that "I am on my way to work at Jarvis St." (Jarvis St. is Toronto's Red Light District essentially for those who do not live in Toronto)look.

I am not saying that all ladies are like this. Just the ones that I have seen more often than not at Yorkdale and on Richmond St. (Toronto's clubbing district). Moving on.....


2. I am here to promote a card game that will sweep the world by storm if it hasn't already. It is called BELOT!! Made by the great Frenchman Francois Jean-Jacques Belot (That may or may not be true). It is a combination of hearts and the Italian game Briscola. Look it up, study the rules and get your game on cause in a matter of years there will be a new NBA: National Belot Association!!



3. Well I can't think of anything right now so I will post one up later on today....... BEGIN the posting!!!

Time to Let Loose...Cause I Can!!!

It has been a couple of days since my last post and I think enough time has gone by where I can unload some of the feelings that are running through my mind at this point:


1. Don't ever forget how important your family is to you. For those who do not have a family, words cannot express how badly I feel for you. Family provides your belief system and it pretty much determines what kind of person you are going to become and how you interact with people. They are there to bring you up when you are down and when you need a good kick in the ass for when you are out of line.


2. No one's life is perfect. When you see someone with a lot of money or who is well off, don't think to yourself, "I wish my like was like theirs!" You know WHY you shouldn't think that??? Because you don't know what goes on behind closed doors. It may look like they have the perfect life, but chances are THEY DON'T!!! EVERYONE HAS SKELETONS IN THEIR CLOSET!!! Some are larger and scarier than others. I have skeletons, and if you think I am letting them out over the Internet, you got another thing coming!


3. Too many people in this world get caught up in the little things (No girlfriend, can't afford this or that, what are my plans for the weekend and all that). These are not things to get all worried about!!! These people need to get their house in order cause once you get everything in order, then the rest falls into place. What do I mean by getting your house in order? Making sure that you are right MENTALLY! I have come to realize that it is all in your mind, visualize your future, put all your effort into making it happen and the rest will follow!


That is all that I can come up with with it being so late and my lack of sleep today...I guarantee you that there will be more tomorrow, but this time there will be some humour.

Hippie Lettuce Anyone?

Sorry for missing my daily post yesterday, I was busy with many activities, I DO have a life outside of this blog (sorry to disappoint all of you)!! This post is gonna be sports related again but I bet you all are interested since you saw teh words "Hippie Lettuce" and the picture of the bad of Doritos!!!




Before I get into the meat of my post, I just have to say this.......





I was listening to WGR 550 (Buffalo's Sports Radio Station) in hte morning and they were saying that the Ottawa Senators are like the Colts of the NFL before tehy won the Super Bowl cause they are so good and have not done anything. Well, if the Senators are the Colts then what the hell are the Leafs?? Probably the Oakland Raiders.....Bunch of guys who just show up and get their paychecks...Sounds about right........Moving on.....




Now I was reading an article on ESPN.com on how 3 NFL prospects admit to doing weed in their like and how this might affect where they get drafted. This is the most ridiculous shit I have ever heard in my life! What does the fact that the guy has done weed have anything to do with how they play or their character!!! Holy crap, the entire league is all roided up, casue their bodies look like freaks of nature and they have so much roid rage that they can probably run through a brick wall and won't feel anything!


Weed is the least of the NFL's problems. The league is full of criminals who beat their wives, run people over with their cars while they are drunk and all have all sorts of guns and weapons in their cars, their socks and their crotch!!

I give these guys credit that they admit to doing weed, cause they know that saying this stuff will cost them money but they did it anyways, cause they know that weed is nothing!! At least they did push the stuff for money (like they needed the money anyways). I would be willing to say that most of the players that are gonna get drafted have probably tried some sort of illegal drug.

My point is this: Weed is not a big deal, this stuff grows all over the place, and it does not enhance performance, in face it inhibits it!! So if these guys wanna do weed, let em!! If it prevents them from shotting someone or beating someone for no reason, then give everyone weed, cause if I was the commish (or the head of some sort of government) I would seriously consider taking marijuana off the list of banned substances. There I said it!!!

OK everyone! Grab the lettuce and hotbox the enclosed space where you partake in your illegal activities!! BEGIN THE SMOKING!!!

Am I Really A Part of This?

Not to take anything anything from the tragedy that occurred at Virginia Tech, but this blog was meant to bring some humour combined with my personal thoughts on certain matters (some relevant and some not so much). And after all, who couldn't use a little humour to lighten things up after what has happened?

I am an avid sports fan (avid means HUGE, in this case). I believe in my blood there is blue and white, which means that I am a fan of the Toronto Maple Leafs of the NHL (this means that anyone who lives in the US of A will stop reading this post riiiiiiight now!!).

Since this blog was created AFTER the Leafs choked the chicken and missed the playoffs for a second straight year (probably a good thing, now that I think about it), I have to put my two cents in about this team, cause after all NO ONE in Toronto was talking about the Leafs not making the playoffs this year!!

The picture that I placed at the start of this blog best resembles both the play of this team and the fans of this team, and I am one of them (a fan that is). I am gonna focus more on the fans than the players, cause anyone who watches hockey knows that most of the players on the Leafs are not worth what they signed for (Kubina, Raycroft, Gill, McCabe and so on.......)

I would like to know what kind of hallucinogen these Leaf fans are taking cause I don't think it is out on the market yet. The team sucks ASS and they keep blowing massive leads and what do the fans do??? THEY SELL OUT EVERY GAME!!!!! Not only do they sell out every game but there are a bunch of dumbasses out in the front of the ACC (Air Canada Centre, for any Americans still reading) ready to pay hundreds of dollars for standing room tickets to watch Crosby like he is never coming back again!! He will be back next year and the year after at least twice!! I would never pay money for Leaf tickets! Why the hell would I when I can watch the game on TV or listen to the games on the radio and my wallet will be much heavier for it! I don't have to pay 15 dollars for a small pan pizza that apparently comes with a small block of gold.

The best part are the fans that call in post game when the Leafs lose game 34 to Atlanta 5 - 1!!! Here is a transcript of a phone call that takes place after such a game:

Andy Frost (Host of Leaf Talk, Leafs Post game show): Next Call, Joe from Barrie, what is your

comment regarding this game?

Joe: Hey Andy, I think we should trade Sundin and Raycroft for Crosby and Fleury, what do you think?

Andy: WOW, someone is on the sauce!! Next call!!

I almost feel ashamed to be a Leafs fan when people like this are around! That was my rant on Leaf fans!

More to come later on........I promise!!

Was it Really Their Time?

My first "real" post is not going be full of sarcastically humorous points and observations that pick at various people or institutions that deserve it. There is a time and place for everything, and I feel as though at this time I have to comment on what happened at Virginia Tech.
There are events that occur in a person's life that make them wonder whether or not the world really is a good place or if it is going to hell in a hand basket. September 11, 2001 would be the most obvious example of such an event. For me, what transpired on Monday April 17, 2007 in Blacksburg, Virginia is right up there in this dubious list.

I am not going to write about how the lack of gun control in the United States contributed to this tragedy, because it did not. Events such as this have occurred in Canada as well. On December 6 1989, Marc Lepine went into Montreal's Ecole Polytechnique and killed 14 women for absolutely no reason! More recently, on September 13, 2006, a 25 year old gunman went into Montreal's Dawson College and went on a shooting spree, killing one woman and injuring 19 others.
I cannot even imagine what the people in Blacksburg are going through, and I hope to never feel the pain that they are feeling right now. All we can do is to provide our condolences and regards to the families of the of 33 deceased individuals (Yes, even the family of the gunman (men) need consoling) and hope that somehow, some way the University of Virginia Tech is able to compensate the families for their loss, although I am sure that there is no monetary amount that can replace a loved one.

Here is hoping that Virginia Tech wins the National Title this year!!

And So it Begins....

Many people do things that they will never understand when they cannot sleep. Some watch infromercials and realize that their lives will never be the same unless they get that new portable oven/electric knife/rotisserie grill (my electric knife and portable stove should be coming in 4 - 6 weeks). Others just stare into space and wonder where their life is going, and then go into the closet in their rooms and sob quietly.

I decided to create a blog. I know, I know.....Not another one!! Why not another one? Blogs are perfect for people who want to vent but can't really afford to punch someone in the face, whether it is because of prior convictions, they need the job bably, or they couldn't throw a punch to save thier lives.

This is not gonna be some sort of revolutionary blog that will win any awards, nor should it be. I don't know what HTML is (but I will learn, some of it at least), and I am not in tune with the blog lingo or ethics (that I will learn also). But one thing that this blog will be is sarcstically funny, casue after all this world can use more people who use sarcasm as a source of humour.....

Subject matter of this blog: Any and everything...Sports, pop culture, current events, pot pourri and Therapists (or The Rapists according to Sean Connery)

So sit back, grab your favorite beverage(s), and enjoy......At least one of us will......